2006-12-27 - 8:00 p.m.

So Val decided, today, that as part of her treatment, she can't talk to me for 30 days. I remind her too much of her good times she had with smoking and drinking, and becaue I still use, she is jelous of my use, and that will, she thinks, lead to her downfall.
So I'm going to vent on here a little bit about how I feel about all this. First of all, I think she has a problem with the way I can use but not abuse substances. Obviously. And I feel like I'm being blamed for her inability to control herself with drugs. Addiction is a disease, and I get that, but I am not to blame for what she chose to do. So DON'T FUCKING PUSH YOUR INSECURITIES ON ME.
I also think that Val has become dependent on me, as well as drugs and alcohol. So now she needs 30 days to wean herself from me. Great, good for you. But, I'm a fucking person too. I have feelings, and THEY CAN BE HURT. The shit you say to me hurts me too. I AM NOT PERFECT. I DO NOT HAVE A PERFECT FAMILY. DON'T THINK I DON'T HAVE FUCKING PROBLEMS! That's fucking pretentious to say.
I love you, and I want to be your friend. But right now, if you call me back and say, "I'm sorry... I didn't mean it. I was having a bad day and I took it out on you. I miss you." Whatever. What the FUCK ever. You're getting your 30 days of silence and I hope you fucking like it.
With all the love of a bitter medicine,
Mango

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